Most of us have a family member who has everything he needs. That makes Christmas shopping especially difficult because of the obvious: They don’t need anything you can afford to give.
Since Black Friday is officially upon us, here are a couple of ideas for those who have to buy a gift for that person who has everything.
The U.S. Marshals Service is hosting an auction for the victims of Bernard Madoff and his Ponzi scheme, and there are some real bargains to be had.
For example, four yachts are available. If you can’t find a body of water deep enough to float a yacht here in Indiana, don’t worry, the auction includes boogie boards and fishing lures.
Need a new watch? How about a 1933 professionally restored Rolex with an alligator strap? The price range includes some wiggle room: Auctioneers expect to receive a bid somewhere between $18,000 and $20,500.
For the sports fan, there’s a blue satin and orange-trimmed New York Mets jacket stitched with “Madoff” on the back. The value lies somewhere between $500 and $720 — if you like the Mets. They finished at 70-92 last year, 23 full games behind the Phillies.
For the ladies, there’s jewelry worn by Madoff’s wife, Ruth. The Edwardian-era diamond and emerald bracelet, weighing 5.13 carats, is expected to fetch a bid of $15,600. Three of our grandchildren didn’t even weigh that much when they were born.
If the Madoff auction doesn’t catch your eye then perhaps you might consider the good folks at Neiman Marcus. This year they’re selling a “Round Table Experience” that includes an exclusive private dinner party of fine food, engaging wit and sparkling conversation at the Algonquin Hotel.
The guest list includes satirist Christopher Buckley, cartoonist Roz Chast, the Ephron sisters, writer Malcolm Gladwell, ABC’s George Stephanopoulos and his wife, actress Ali Wentworth. The price is a mere $200,000, but the ad didn’t say whether the Dr. Pepper was included.
I hate to sound judgmental, but if I could choose my dinner companions, none of those folks would make my list. Not even for $20. The only name I recognize is George Stephanopoulos. I’d rather eat with George Washington or George Bush (the elder) or George Wendt. Cheers everybody!
Several years ago, my father inherited the small estate of my great aunt. That estate didn’t make him wealthy, but instead of pocketing the change he decided to fly our entire family to a beach in Florida for a week. My folks paid for everything: transportation, lodging and meals.
My siblings live in Washington, Missouri, Virginia and South Africa, and our children live somewhere in-between. To be honest, none of us needed anything except to be together, and no one else was needed to make the week more enjoyable.
According to Louisa May Alcot, “Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents.” Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than it is to receive” (Acts 20:35, KJV).
As Black Friday passes, don’t forget that presence always trumps presents.
• Tony Thomas is a church pastor, a high school basketball coach and author of “A Smidgeon of Religion.” He can be reached through the newspaper at ptnews@pharostribune.com.
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