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October 30, 2009

by Dick Wolfsie Pharos-Tribune Fri Oct 30, 2009, 09:26 AM EDT

Saying goodbye to Soupy Sales

Soupy Sales is gone. If you’re too young to remember Soupy, I’d suggest a quick Google. There are 176,000 hits. (Wait, maybe that’s how many pies he hurled.)

As a youngster I was glued to the TV while Soupy sparred with his off-camera puppet friends: White Fang, “The biggest and the meanest dog in the USA,” and Black Tooth, “The biggest and the sweetest dog in the USA.” Only the paws of these puppets were shown, and they did little more than grunt. Soupy would then translate the incomprehensible sounds.

There was no studio audience for his early kids’ show. But you would hear the infectious laughter of the camera crew and technicians. Soupy later told me: “If you make the crew laugh, you know you’re funny.” He was right. Lesson learned.

Soupy’s on-air antics sometimes got him in trouble. My favorite: He once asked kids in the TV audience to find “that funny green paper” in your parents’ wallets and send it to the Soupy Sales Show.” He says he didn’t receive any money; he just earned the network’s rebuke.

Soupy’s kids’ show became a cult hit — with college students. Did he sneak racy, off-color material into the show? Soupy always denied this. He once offered 10 grand if you could prove he ever did any such material. No takers.

In l981, my co-host on the TV show “Good Morning, New York” went on vacation, requiring a last-minute fill-in. “Hey, Dick, would you mind co-hosting with Soupy Sales for a week?” asked the producer. For me, it was like winning the lottery.

In l998, he played Crackers Comedy Club in Indianapolis for a week. I saw every show, three of them a night. “How am I doing?” he’d ask me over a big bowl of jambalaya at the old Dick Clark’s restaurant.

“I’m the wrong person to ask,” I told him. “I’m just laughing because you’re Soupy Sales.”

Soupy winked. “That’s why I don’t need new jokes.”

One morning that week, we did a WISH-TV spot from Soupy’s hotel. Here was the premise: Soupy Sales was in town and I had always wanted to meet him. I stood by as the elevator door slid open and out walked Soupy. “Good morning,” I said. “Have you heard Soupy Sales is staying here?”

Soupy did his inimitable take to the camera: “I am Soupy Sales.”

“No, seriously, the real Soupy Sales is supposed to be right here in the hotel,” I said, feigning non-recognition of the star.

“I’m Soupy Sales,” he repeated, mocking frustration. Another glorious take to the camera.

“Man, you sure got old,” I said — a planned zinger, of course.

Suddenly (as arranged), a waiter walked by with a whipped cream pie in his raised hand. With pure comic grace, Soupy nabbed it from the waiter and smooshed it squarely in my face. I had been hit with a pie by Soupy Sales.

Last month at the arts festival in Carmel, I arranged for a young lady whose mother owned a local pie shop, to end my morning TV segment by depositing a custard cream pie in my face.

I spent 10 minutes teaching her the Sales technique, the proper angle of thrust, then the required twist of the wrist after impact, and the ideal amount of time to apply pressure to the face with the plate. It was a perfect hit. Soupy would have been proud.

And he would also, I hope, have applauded the way I methodically wiped the pie off my face, using Soupy’s approach to maximize the comic effect.

I know the proper way to take a pie in the kisser. Life doesn’t get any better than that. Thank you, Soupy.

• Dick Wolfsie is a television news reporter, syndicated humor columnist and author. He can be reached at Wolfsie@aol.com

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